Man reveals set of ‘strict’ rules for first dates. Women are saying he’s doing too much: ‘Can’t look at the menu is crazy’

A man posted a video regarding his strict rules for dates, which received an ample amount of criticism. The reason why? Some viewers thought the way he communicated his preferences was a red flag.

In a viral TikTok video with more than 623,000 views, Trell (@trellthetrainer) shared what he “doesn't want to see on a first date.” While some commenters agreed with the personal trainer's list, others said that it was better not to list out expectations.

What are Trell's rules?

Trell said in his video that a woman should already be dressed and waiting in the lobby when he arrives to pick her up. “If you're not down there in five minutes, I'm out,” he added. He argued that anyone who isn't ready on time doesn't value his time, which some viewers agreed with.

Then he added more rules. He doesn't want a woman getting in the way when he opens doors for her. He also insisted on sitting in the seat facing the door at restaurants for safety reasons.

The personal trainer said a woman should not look at the menu before engaging him in conversation, and that women he goes out with should generally avoid touching their phones.

Toward the end of the video, the man explained he expected a simple “thank you” for any date.

Why were some women upset over his dating rules?

In the video's comment section, some viewers expressed their opinions.

“As a woman I think these are valid,” one person said.

However, most of the comments took issue with the way the man expressed his preferences.

“I agree but I don't like that you said it,” another person commented.

“Nah I'm good. it's the parent tone for me,” one woman said.

Others even mocked Trell.

“I hope you find the man of your dreams,” one commenter added.

“What's you favorite lipgloss?” another asked.

Many commenters took issue with Trell's rule to start a conversation before looking at the menu. Some even said it was their one exception with Trell's list.

“I was with EVERYTHING! But the menu one!” one person explained.

Can tone impact the way others receive a message?

The most common issue viewers had when listening to Trell's dating rules was the delivery. According to Southern New Hampshire University, there are four main communication styles: passive communication, aggressive communication, passive-aggressive communication, and assertive communication.

A passive communicator is fearful of speaking up and avoids confrontation, whereas an aggressive communicator is forceful and judgmental. In contrast, passive-aggressive communication doesn't directly express anything, but underlying negative emotions drive the communication.

Assertive communication is confident but also leaves room for others to have input. For many, Trell may have seemed overly assertive, to the point that his communication seemed judgmental.

Perception also impacts how people receive communication. Perception is how individuals process, receive, and understand information. It is shaped by a person's age, culture, expectations, and more. So although many commenters were able to acknowledge Trell didn't say anything explicitly inappropriate, they still could have perceived a problem with how the information was communicated.

Ultimately, whether or not commenters agree, it is clear this man has his standards and is not afraid to express them.

Buzz News reached out to Trell via email for comment.