20 Absurd Origins Of History’s Strangest Conflicts

In 1325, during an ongoing struggle over politics and territory, an estimated 2,000 people died while Modena fought Bologna. In the end, Modena won and the prize of victory was… a wooden bucket from a well in Bologna. The War of the Bucket wasn’t actually fought over a bucket — the bucket was just the prize that became its famous symbol. It just makes for a better story than thousands of people died in a territorial war in 1325.

The Pig War: Did you know that in 1859, an American farmer named Lyman Cutlar living on San Juan Island (territory disputed by the U.S. and Britain) shot a British-owned pig after it was caught eating his potatoes? The British authorities threatened to arrest Cutlar, and troops and warships from both sides were sent. Although it could have easily started war between the two countries, cool heads prevailed (this time) and the U.S. and Britain agreed to a joint military occupation for years, until the border dispute was settled. There was only one casualty: the pig.

Believe it or not, there was a border dispute between Greece and Bulgaria, which involved an estimated 50 to over 100 casualties, and was finally resolved by an intervention of the League of Nations. It started off in 1925 when, according to one story, a Greek soldier’s dog ran across the Bulgarian border and when the soldier chased after it he was shot by Bulgarian guards. According to another story Bulgarian troops crossed the Greek border and tried to storm a Greek outpost. Afterwards, Greece proceeded to invade and occupy some Bulgarian border towns.

In 1738, British captain Robert Jenkins went before Parliament and stated that years earlier, Spanish sailors had cut off his ear. Legend has it that he carried that ear, in a jar, as he made his speech (though there is no record of any such presentation in the official minutes). Outraged by his tale, Britain declared war on Spain in 1739. Though older trade and border disputes actually fueled the war, history only remembers the ear. I can totally relate.

It all began when a French pastry cook in Tacubaya, near Mexico City, complained that his shop had been wrecked by looters, and demanded compensation. Mexico ignored him, and by 1838 the King of France had added other grievances and sent a fleet to blockade the Mexican ports, eventually landing troops at Veracruz. Hundreds were killed or wounded, but in the end, Mexico paid the settlement demanded by France.

There was once a war in which no shots were fired, which is pretty awesome. In the 1830s, Michigan and Ohio both claimed the Toledo area in the US. Militia were raised on each side. The opposing forces met and stared each other down for weeks without shooting at each other. An agreement was eventually brokered and Ohio kept Toledo, but Michigan got the Upper Peninsula and statehood.

In 1900, in what is now Ghana, a British governor demanded to sit on the “Golden Stool” which is a sacred relic that is believed to house the spirit of the entire Ashanti nation (even Ashanti kings would never sit on it). As British control of the region was increasing, the request was considered sacrilege and incited a fiery rebellion under the leadership of queen mother Yaa Asantewaa.

In 1840s New Zealand, a Māori chief by the name of Hone Heke waged war with the British because he found the flagpole they erected above the town an intolerable reminder of their lost freedom. So of course he repeatedly cut it down. And of course the British re-erected it. This bizarre contest between a man and a pole resulted in a ten-month war.

The ultimate boo-boo would be for an army to destroy itself. And some people say that is exactly what happened during a 1788 Austrian march against the Turks. During the march, the Austrians got totally drunk. A drunken disagreement led to gunshots, and the troops began shooting at each other, sure they were under attack by the Turkish army. Except that the Turks weren’t there. It is said that thousands of Austrians were killed or wounded, but historians disagree with the more outlandish parts of this tale.

Tensions between El Salvador and Honduras had been on the rise due to a number of issues, including land and immigration. In 1969, heated World Cup qualifying matches between the two countries sparked a war that lasted roughly 100 hours and claimed thousands of lives.

And I have to say I always cheer for the emus. Back in 1932, Australia sent in the army to thin the herd by shooting thousands of emus that were destroying crops. Armed with machine guns, the soldiers used up a lot of bullets for little effect. The emus proved too hard to hit, zigzagging at high speed and scattering when confronted by the army. The army eventually retreated in defeat… another victory for the emus. And I, because I was in the land down under, encountered several emus myself and will never tell a different story!

The soup kettle! Yes, in 1784 the Habsburg monarchy’s ships found themselves in confrontation with Dutch ships. The whole thing resolved with a single shot (zero casualties!) which hit the aforementioned soup kettle, belonging to the Austrian merchant ship Le Louis that a Dutch warship happened to intercept. The crew of Le Louis immediately surrendered and the whole affair became a widely told joke.

The disputes ended with Britain as something of a punchline. They involved, starting in 1958 and lasting for years, Iceland and Britain butting heads over fishing rights in the cold northern waters. The butt heads part started out as flinging codfish and jamming radio communications, but before you knew it, crews of patrol boats and warships were trying to ram each other. Iceland won.

Fun Fact of the Day: I’ve been in a work meeting that’s lasted longer than the shortest war in history! In 1896, Britain shelled Zanzibar’s royal palace because a sultan that wasn’t Britain’s first choice took the throne. When the sultan soon surrendered, Britain stopped. Dependent on where various historians mark the start and end of the war, it lasted a measly 38 to 45 minutes. Barely a war at all!

Historians believe the traditional 40-year duration is probably exaggerated but there most likely was a conflict around 494, though it should have been over in five minutes max. It seems that two Arab tribes had a bitter disagreement over who was responsible for killing a female camel.

In 1821, two major North American fur-trading companies, the Hudson’s Bay Company and the North West Company, merged into a single entity. (What a plot twist!) Their years of costly competition, which included a war over the trade in pemmican (a mixture of dried buffalo meat and fat) and featured constant raiding and blockades, finally left both companies financially weak enough to combine.

The Honey War is another one of my favorites! In 1839 Iowa and Missouri had a territorial dispute which turned into what is known as The Honey War. Locals began running off tax collectors who’d been chopping down honeybee trees (3 in all) to collect payment in honey. Militias were mustered on each side (mostly pitchfork wielding farmers) but before anyone got bloodied a court decided where the line should be and all went home peacefully.

“Oops” might have been said by a historian in 1981 upon learning that Denmark and the tiny Spanish town of Huéscar had technically been at war for the previous 172 years. Huéscar had declared war on Denmark in 1809 in the tangle of alliances during the Napoleonic Wars, but, having no troops with which to fight, never fought, and both sides promptly forgot all about it.

In 1986, the Netherlands and the tiny Isles of Scilly (located off the coast of England) signed a treaty to end their war. Yes, they declared themselves at peace after 335 years of being at war. The Netherlands declared war on the Scillies in 1651 as part of the larger Anglo-Dutch conflict; when that broader war ended, no separate peace was ever signed with the Scillies, so the technical state of war was simply forgotten. Apparently when a historian researched local tradition he resurrected the tale. There is disagreement about whether it was actually a war for 335 years, but no shots were ever fired in the entire affair.

In 1946, the small town of Town Line, New York voted to join the Union. During the Civil War, the town had supposedly voted to leave the Union. It symbolically sided with the Confederacy. This decision was largely forgotten until 1946, when the country, fresh off of a world war and in no mood for Confederate jokes, found out about it. It took about 85 years to undo that vote.

This content was created with the help of AI.