New York City woman goes on dinner date. Then her suitor decides not to order food. That’s just the start

A first date comes with a few unwritten rules: Show up, show out, and show interest. As long as a person is pro-social, it's hard to mess things up on an existential level.

But one New York City woman says her date skipped over several bare-minimum expectations.

‘You won't believe what happened'

Content creator Myra (@mf.doomed) shares a story about a dinner date that went sideways. Her video has since accumulated more than 120,000 views.

“Guys, I went on a date, and you won't believe what happened,” Myra says. “So I get to the restaurant that he picked that happened to be near him … I'm really hungry, and he texts me like, ‘I'm gonna be late, so you can order something if you're hungry.'”

Myra ordered “a really small appetizer.” She says she waited 40 minutes for her date to show up.

“I go out to eat alone all the time, so it's not like I'm that bothered by that,” Myra says. “But obviously, it is a little bit inconsiderate.”

When the date finally arrived, he made an even more baffling move. Myra says he sat down across from her and ordered absolutely nothing.

“I'm like, ‘Oh, are you hungry? Don't you want to get food?'” Myra recalls. “He's like, ‘No, I just came here to see you and have a conversation with you.'”

She then offered him some of her own food. He replied, “Oh my god, you're so nice for asking,” which “confused” Myra and left her wondering if this meant he expected her to pay.

The red flags keep coming: ‘He was pressing me to go'

Sure enough, when the check came, the date waited for Myra to reach for her wallet. Myra purposely picked a card that declined.

“Instead of saying, ‘Oh, I got this,' which you should have done to begin with, he says, ‘Oh, do you want to go in your car and see if you have another one?'” Myra says. “Mind you, this guy was the one after me to go on a date. Like, I was already considering not going, and he was pressing me to go—just to pull this [expletive].”

Myra “made a face” at her date's suggestion for her to search for another card, and he changed his tune quickly.

“He's like, ‘You know what, I got it this time,'” Myra says. “What do you mean, ‘this time'? You're the one that asked me.”

He proceeded to hand the waitress a wad of “crumpled cash.”

‘The least you could do is pay for a small appetizer'

“This guy has no manners,” Myra says, adding that she declined his offer to see each other again. “If you're that interested in me, the least you could do is pay for a small appetizer after coming like 40 minutes late.”

In her caption, Myra called the whole experience the “worst date of [her] life.” Her viewers flocked to her comment section to deride the man.

“As an older married woman, plz don't wait for them,” one commenter advised. “If they are late, deal breaker. Period.”

“Your first mistake is waiting for 40 minutes,” another wrote. “Don't ever let a man play with your time, because if he can play with your time, he knows he can waste it too.”

“I would not have stayed,” a third viewer echoed. “It's definitely a deal breaker if they can't manage their own time and mine.”

Is arriving late to a date really a red flag?

A Dating.com press release from 2022 reported that “about 60% of singles said that they would not go on another date with someone who showed up late to their first meetup.” It also included excessive phone use and bringing up ex-partners as behaviors that “scare off” new dates.

However, lateness isn't necessarily universally perceived as the No. 1 red flag on a first date. Bustle reported in 2017 that the leading dealbreakers included looking at a phone throughout the date (19%), repeated smoke breaks (15%), and rude behavior (12%). Lateness didn't come up. A similar 2022 survey said cellphone use was the No. 1 red flag, and it also didn't mention lateness.

Dating experts, however, are a bit sterner about punctuality. Matchmaker Susan Trombetti told PureWow in 2023 that lateness early on can suggest “[a] person isn't ready to commit to a relationship,” especially if the issue persists for subsequent dates. Dating coach Erika Ettin spoke to Today in 2023 about five things people should “never do on a first date.” Showing up late, or flaking entirely, appears on the list.

@mf.doomed

Subplot News reached out to Myra via email.

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