‘I’ve never told him anything about myself’: Bartender works shift. Then a regular sends her a long—and detailed—text message

Sometimes, the relationship between bartender and customer can feel blurred—at least according to the customer. When a boundary gets crossed, it often can come at the expense of the person working, and not the person who can choose another destination to drink.

One TikToker, who goes by Omgwheresmymom online (@omgwheresmymom), experienced that firsthand. In a video that received more than 4,200 views, she posted a screen recording of a long, unhinged message that a regular sent her.

The bartender explained that the regular sent her a message request two months prior. But she hadn't seen it until much later. When she did, however, she immediately thought the message was “insane.”

The message

The regular's message began as normally as it could have. He introduced himself, saying, “This is Daniel from karaoke.”

Then he said he wouldn't be coming to the bar for a few months. “I already wrote [another bartender] a letter last week on here that was addressed to all of you, explaining why I will be gone. [I wanted to] thank all of you for being so friendly, creating an atmosphere that feels like a house party more than a bar scene, where I met dozens of rad people making some of the best memories of my life … Not sure if she uses this much though to read that letter yet,” he said, referring to another bartender.

The message was very long by that point. But it still could've been good-natured, right?

The message continued, though. The regular told the content creator that he “respects” her relationship. But he also said that he could “fall in love” with her.

Then he continued, adding, “Yes, that is intense to say, but don't get too full of yourself … That's just how I operate and [there's] 3 or 4 other girls … I said the same thing to … Girls are either in or they're out to me, and my [one-night] stands last year were only ever that because I'm not going to date someone I don't really like just for some action.”

The man went on to describe in detail what type of woman he wants to date, including information he presumably gathered from the content creator and the sports she may have mentioned she played in brief passing.

He moved on, describing himself as “thin and quiet,” but not “scared of anything.” He told her he works out and added, unprompted and within the same message, that he is getting a six-pack.

Finally, he said, “I have a heart of gold, a spirit of light, and a spine of solid stone standing firm for what I believe in. I know you're a [top-shelf] catch and will make any man happy. I wish you all the best in your own life, regardless [of whether] you will ever have any interest in me or if I ever even see you again.”

A second message

Around a month later, on July 4, the man texted her again. He casually asked if she was watching the World Cup. His second message contained no reference to the first, long message.

“Are you watching any of the World Cup, or just a casual fan like myself?” he said. “Just got back from walking to a bar nearby and definitely [need a] brew to get into it. Brazil is always [top-notch], though making the extra pass with fitness. USA might make it somewhere this year though.”

In the description of the video, the content creator wrote, “And I've never told him anything about myself … We've literally talked twice, maybe a minute worth of conversation … I wouldn't even consider [them] conversations … Anyways, I actually quit that job and work in some fine dining now.”

@omgwheresmymom And I've never told him anything about myself we've literally talked twice maybe a minute worth of conversation I wouldn't even consider then conversations anyways I actually quit that job and work in some fine dining now #bartending #weirdos #alert #stalker #idonotwantyou ♬ Spooky, quiet, scary atmosphere piano songs – Skittlegirl Sound

Viewers react to the message

In the comment section, a plethora of viewers said that the message was “creepy.” They worried about the content creator's safety.

“Good lord, you might be needing a restraining order at some point,” a viewer said.

Another commenter said, “Was he out of his mind texting this [expletive]? wtf that's weird behavior.”

The content creator also mentioned a few details about the message. He sent the message at 7 a.m., she said. The man himself appeared to be in his 40s.

“That man could be dangerous fr,” a viewer said. “Absolutely never be alone with him … Women can't get no peace.”

Sexual harassment in the hospitality industry

Sexual harassment, which includes creepy, overly long messages from customers, provocative calls and gestures, and physical interactions, plagues the hospitality industry.

The Chicago Reader, while citing a 2024 study from the Economic Policy Institute, said that “almost three-quarters of women restaurant workers have experienced sexual harassment, more than any other industry, and women workers reliant on tips were harassed 20 percent more than nontipped women workers.”

More recently, Restaurant Opportunities Center (ROC) United found that of respondents surveyed, “78% of women and 55% of men reported sexual harassment by customers.”

It's unsurprising, then, that servers and bartenders often have a “story” of a customer who makes an unwanted advance that goes too far. What constitutes “too far” is often easy to read for the person experiencing it—an overly long and presumptive message about a supposed connection, according to many of the content creator's viewers, definitely makes the cut.

Buzz News reached out to Omgwheresmymom via TikTok direct comment for more information.