New York City woman calls out ‘Jacob with a C’ who works for Pepsi, whom she met at a bar. Then she reveals why: ‘It was rude’

Sometimes, a night out goes so sideways that you've simply got to see yourself out, no questions asked. However, unceremoniously disappearing without a word might not win you many friends.

One woman is going viral for her displeasure with this very behavior. And she has a message for a man who engaged in it.

‘I do not appreciate you Irish goodbying me‘

TikTok user Bri (@brisadventuress) shares a video addressing a man she met at a bar. The video has more than 410,000 views.

She opens the post by describing him.

“If your name is Jacob, and you're 26, and you work for marketing at Pepsi,” Bri says. “And you're starting law school next year, and we were at this bar when we met. And you live a two-minute walk away, and you were wearing a brown poncho thing as your costume.”

Then, Bri drops her thesis statement.

“I do not appreciate you Irish goodbying me when I lost my friend,” she says. “And you were like, ‘Oh, your friends are not there anymore?' And I turned around, and she was gone. And then I turned around, and … you were gone.”

Bri's verdict is short.

“That was rude,” she says. “And I will find you, Jacob with a C. 26. Works for Pepsi, right?”

Is an Irish goodbye considered rude?

Etiquette-savvy folks say that the appropriateness of Irish goodbyes depends on the setting. Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman tells Today that the practice is usually rude to the host, and that “there is very little justification for an Irish exit.”

She says it may be acceptable at large, less intimate events or in emergencies, but that it should be avoided at small gatherings such as dinner parties.

Others see more nuance, though. Etiquette coach Alison Cheperdak tells Fox News that Irish goodbyes can be impolite at intimate dinner parties. However, she says that at a large event, announcing a departure can be an even bigger faux pas. A different etiquette expert, Richie Frieman, says people use the move when they don't want to be seen leaving early.

Cheperdak recommends sending a short text to thank the host the same night or the next day.

Where does the phrase ‘Irish goodbye' come from?

Sources do not seem to reach a consensus on the history of the phrase. Dictionary.com says “it's not entirely clear when the Irish goodbye emerged or what's particularly Irish about it,” but that the phrase became popular in the 2000s. It reports that a Rice University database traced the term to Boston.

“Boston, Massachusetts … has a large Irish-American population,” Dictionary.com writes. “Rice specifically describes the Irish goodbye as a drunk person leaving without talking to anyone in order to avoid revealing how drunk they are.”

Mental Floss reported in 2023 that one of the earliest examples of an Irish goodbye was in Sean O'Casey's 1952 memoir. The modern meaning of sneaking away seems to have developed later. The piece said a common theory ties the phrase to a stereotype about Irish drinking.