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The arrival of my first baby: between anxiety and infinite love

The approach of the birth of my child brings me many conflicting emotions…

I will be welcoming my first child with my partner very soon, and I am filled with a myriad of emotions both sweet and stressful. As I go through the last big right of my pregnancy, I’m at 34 weeks, I feel like I’m more fully aware of all that’s coming and the changes we’re going to experience.

Thanks to the lull in the pandemic, I have been fortunate enough to have access to face-to-face prenatal classes that have been most beneficial. I was able to learn more about the process of childbirth as well as the reality of the postnatal period for parents and baby. It was very reassuring, but it also brought me stress. I realized that I was afraid of not being an adequate parent, afraid that my baby would not be healthy, afraid of not being able to adapt to this new reality, etc. You guessed it, I’m a bit of a natural worrier! If I manage this anxiety well enough in my daily life, the imminent arrival of the baby is upsetting my emotional balance.

We are so bombarded with information, parenting models on social networks, advice from friends and family, etc. that I sometimes feel like we are putting a lot on our shoulders. The famous pressure to be a perfect parent… Yet, parenthood is clearly not a straight and well laid out path, and with each child, the journey is different. In a way, that’s the beauty of being a parent: our child brings us into their world and it’s up to us to find the best ways to accompany them through life.

Chris Anderson via Unsplash

Becoming a mom for the very first time in my life, I will experience nothing but newness. Every experience will be a first! It’s grand, but also awesome. I like to plan for everything in life, but here I am at a point in my life where I can’t plan beyond the utilitarian (getting the baby’s room ready, the hospital bag, etc.) … I can’t know what kind of rhythm my baby will have or how the dynamic of my partner and I will change… and while these upcoming novelties are exciting, they are also scary.

In the end, I think what I’m trying to express is that as much as I’m looking forward to meeting my child, it also comes with fear and stress. I think it’s normal to experience conflicting emotions when approaching a newborn, especially a first child, and while I don’t necessarily have any advice for dealing with the situation, I would say that it’s crucial to welcome yourself without judgment in what you’re feeling. There is no such thing as the perfect parent, and the important thing is to always have the well-being of our children at heart.

Have you experienced conflicting emotions as you approach the birth of your child?

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